A pile of dust and a beret

Everyone loves Dream Team as they should. Basketball gods came down from Mt. Olympus to make sure everyone remembered who they were and what righteous fire looked like. I’m not here to talk about that. I’m here to talk about the time Vince Carter jumped over some poor frenchman’s head and dunked. This actually happened in an Olympic basketball.

It was not planned. It wasn’t in a pool over someone’s cousin. Elite Olympic athlete Pierre Picard Van Damme was playing defense. (I Googled him but all I found was an image of a pile of dust with a beret) but Vince thought “should I go left? Right? Nah, I’m going to jump over his head.” Then he did it. We live in a world where guys can’t land dunks they spend weeks practicing. Vince did this on the fly, in a game. This was the style of play with which they won a gold medal.

Clearly Paul and I love KG. In the same game as Vince’s dunk KG posterized another Frenchman. Once KG landed, he bear hugged his victim lifting him up and skipping down the court screaming “that’s my n-word”. I think everyone was high on Vince’s dunk. I certainly was.

The Dream Team belonged to the world. Dream Team 2000? They were American. Brash, arrogant, gleeful, glorious Jerks. Our jerks!

I thought Shaq was on the 2000 squad. And Iverson. Nope. My memory blurred the post dream team men’s Olympic squads. I don’t want to Google the game. Maybe KG didn’t do that to Jean Luc Grey Poupon. I don’t want to ruin my memory with facts. That’s why I blog.

Team USA has its game down at this point. There are glimmers of true American hoop exceptionalism (see DeRozan’s near 360) but as Coach K scolds bench celebrations I think he’s missing something. He’s a great coach. With a full size USA flag pole up his butt. We as fans miss something. There’s a fine balance between Olympic sportsmanship and beautiful American arrogance. I’m curious to see what the post coach k era will bring.

Every 12 years we should send all of our best. A handshake agreement amongst the coming generation’s banana boat illuminati. Not every year. Too much wear and tear. However the the world should be regularly be reminded: basketball Mt. Olympus resides in the United States.


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