Either Danny Ainge is throwing a major pity party and taking it out on Celtics fans, or he really wants us to hate him, or he has something up his sleeve. I really hope he has something up his sleeve. But it sure doesn’t appear to be Kevin Love, and the latest reports out of summer league is that Smart can’t shoot and that the guy drafted right after him by the Lakers appears to be the real athlete of the draft.

Ok. No problem. The Celtics just need a guard or forward or center who could shoot or maybe rebound.

Enter Evan Turner.

Evan Turner. Just one more letter than Kevin Love, minus the shooting, rebounding, and sweet outlet passes. He’s another ‘tweener who can sort of score, but can’t really shoot, can’t really defend. I’m really looking forward to a lineup with Smart, Thornton, Turner, Young, and Green. It’d really confuse the defense because they’d all be guarding the same guy.

Danny, please tell me this isn’t some sick revenge fantasy your casting on Celtics fans because we never really accepted you as one of the big 5 (Bird, McHale, Parish, DJ, Walton/Maxwell). Please tell me you aren’t going after Cody Zeller’s other brother and one more veteran ‘tweener who once averaged 18 for a lottery team. Please tell me you aren’t wooing Ricky Davis out of retirement. (Ok, I’d be happy to hear you are wooing Antwan, “I’d like to shoot 4s if they’d let me” Walker out of retirement).

Please tell me you are setting up the big deal that brings it all together. Where we all exclaim, ‘genius!’ Please. I’m ready to be wowed.

Am I being too harsh with what we’ve got now? Lets go upside. Rondo returns to elite PG, Smart becomes a young D.Wade, Young becomes a young Kobe, Green becomes old Sugar K Leonard, Sully, Olynyk, and the brother of Cody Zeller that we already have all clog the middle, Bradley comes off the bench for defensive energy and keeps emerging as the former best high schooler in America, while Turner, the Wallace not related to Rasheed, and Bass add depth. El Hombre truly becomes Indestructable.

I’m feeling better. I’m ignoring the obvious and fun ways to attack this trade from the likes of Deadspin and Kirk Goldsberry. I’m envisioning a lot of balance. Not a lot of boards, not too many shots outside of 12 feet or inside 3 feet, but a lot of shots, a lot of energy, a different tweener leading the team in scoring every night with a bunch of fast break dunks.

Unrepentant homer, right?



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