The Pace is the Trick


Mark likes the hardcore sports. Basketball and football are great. WWF is even better.

He’s less enamored with baseball and soccer. There’s less immediately gratifying action, not as much violence (though I think I’ve seen him wearing a Suarez jersey in recent weeks), and a lot more activity that leads to nothing. He wants convincing that these sports are worth watching.

Tonight was a great audition for baseball. Dodgers-Pirates had violence, home runs, and lots of swagger. Then the Giants one upped them with Buster Posey homering to tie the game in the 9th, and Big Time Timmy Jim Lincecum coming in to get his first major league save in the 14th inning. Giants go one game up on the Dodgers. Lincecum becomes the second pitcher in major league history to get both a save and pitch a no hitter in the same season.

And while the World Cup was the obvious entree to soccer, the MLS is suddenly emerging too. Sports are all about different paces and the way to enjoy any sport is to settle in and accept the pace its providing. Boxing is not soccer; football is not baseball. And if you are watching football, it can be jarring to adapt to the pace of a baseball game. But I’d argue it’s equally jarring to go the other way. If I’m watching soccer, its hard to adjust to the NFL–all of a sudden, the lack of fluidity is acute, the helmets and pads constitute obstructions, the constant substitutions a drag. This weekend, I watched a lot of MLS. Seattle showed it can play with Tottenham. Sporting Kansas City showed it can totally dominate the pace of a game while leading, for most of it, just 1-0. Yeah, the Revolution were pretty dull, but any team in any sport that’s on a long losing streak is dull. Would you rather watch the Revolution lose or the Sixers lose or the Jaguars lose?  The MLS is starting to find its rhythm, and its thriving off smaller cities with real crowds and blue collar players. And now, for the first time, its got a bit of star quality–not in the bloated past their prime Beckhams but in the Dempseys and Zusis.

Back to Lincecum real quick. He just turned 30, and he’s coming off more than 2 years as arguably the worst full-time starting pitcher in all of baseball. And I think he’s on a trajectory to make the Hall of Fame. Few players have been as exciting, as quirky, as human, and as a guy that everyone wants to watch than Tim Lincecum. And now with his seeming reinvention as a pitcher as opposed to a flame thrower, a mustache as opposed to long hair, he’s starting to rack up the kind of things that eventuate in the HOF. Two Cy Youngs, two championships, two no hitters; a no hitter and a save in a matter of weeks. If the Giants get a third championship, if Lincecum reinvents himself as Dennis Eckersley or just keeps doing what he’s doing, he’s there.


Either Danny Ainge is throwing a major pity party and taking it out on Celtics fans, or he really wants us to hate him, or he has something up his sleeve. I really hope he has something up his sleeve. But it sure doesn’t appear to be Kevin Love, and the latest reports out of summer league is that Smart can’t shoot and that the guy drafted right after him by the Lakers appears to be the real athlete of the draft.

Ok. No problem. The Celtics just need a guard or forward or center who could shoot or maybe rebound.

Enter Evan Turner.

Evan Turner. Just one more letter than Kevin Love, minus the shooting, rebounding, and sweet outlet passes. He’s another ‘tweener who can sort of score, but can’t really shoot, can’t really defend. I’m really looking forward to a lineup with Smart, Thornton, Turner, Young, and Green. It’d really confuse the defense because they’d all be guarding the same guy.

Danny, please tell me this isn’t some sick revenge fantasy your casting on Celtics fans because we never really accepted you as one of the big 5 (Bird, McHale, Parish, DJ, Walton/Maxwell). Please tell me you aren’t going after Cody Zeller’s other brother and one more veteran ‘tweener who once averaged 18 for a lottery team. Please tell me you aren’t wooing Ricky Davis out of retirement. (Ok, I’d be happy to hear you are wooing Antwan, “I’d like to shoot 4s if they’d let me” Walker out of retirement).

Please tell me you are setting up the big deal that brings it all together. Where we all exclaim, ‘genius!’ Please. I’m ready to be wowed.

Am I being too harsh with what we’ve got now? Lets go upside. Rondo returns to elite PG, Smart becomes a young D.Wade, Young becomes a young Kobe, Green becomes old Sugar K Leonard, Sully, Olynyk, and the brother of Cody Zeller that we already have all clog the middle, Bradley comes off the bench for defensive energy and keeps emerging as the former best high schooler in America, while Turner, the Wallace not related to Rasheed, and Bass add depth. El Hombre truly becomes Indestructable.

I’m feeling better. I’m ignoring the obvious and fun ways to attack this trade from the likes of Deadspin and Kirk Goldsberry. I’m envisioning a lot of balance. Not a lot of boards, not too many shots outside of 12 feet or inside 3 feet, but a lot of shots, a lot of energy, a different tweener leading the team in scoring every night with a bunch of fast break dunks.

Unrepentant homer, right?


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Will Bosh step up?



Will the Miami Heat be better than the Cleveland Cavaliers? I think so. I have a feeling Bosh is going to have the kind of step up that Scottie Pippen had post-Jordan 1, and D-Wade is going to surprise people with greater range. I wouldn’t be surprised with a step-up year by Mario Chalmers, too. Miami is going to be loose, playing without expectations, and I could see 55 wins.

Could the Charlotte Hornets be the best team in the east? Its not implausible. Is there a clear cut better team? With the exception of Cleveland and maybe Chicago depending on the healthiness of Derrick Rose, every team in the east has declined between June and now. The old Bobcats gave the old Heat a pretty good series. Now they have LeBron defensive specialist Lance Stephenson and they are pulling out the old-new uniforms. Switching uniforms got us excited here for about 3 seconds. Our powerful research team here sort of remembers something good happening when the Patriots and Broncos changed their uniforms, and definitely remembers the Brooklyn Nets getting better. But then we googled it, and we discovered (on the first page, which is as far as we’re ever going to go with a google search) that the University of Buffalo football team’s efforts to benefit from new kits resulted in only 2 more wins and a losing season. So, that was enough to convince us that the answer is a definitive ‘no.’

My current predictions for the Eastern conference, soon to be deleted: Chicago, Indiana, Miami, Cleveland, Charlotte, Washington, New York…Boston. Yes, Boston. Why? Why not. Its that or a complete implosion. Only Rajon Rondo can predict which way it goes. But if he plays hard, they ought to be scrappy, more athletic, and competitive. Rondo, Smart, Young, Green, Sulli…that’s not an awful 5, especially with a pretty decent bench of Bradley, Bass, Olynyk, Thornton, Wallace, not Cody Zeller, El Hombre, Pressey, and Bayless. In fact, looking at the current Celtics roster is making me want season tickets to their scrimmages. They may not be competitive with the top teams, but the balance of the roster ought to lead to a lot of exciting greens v. whites pickup games.

I’d have ranked the Celtics in the top 4, but they just gave up on Kris Humphries. Another Celtic headed to the Wizards. I always liked him; he threw elbows and hit 18 foot jumpers (the former more than the latter). I also thought he was unfairly branded as the bad guy by the Kardashians. Us Weekly, which must be owned by the Kardashians given how many covers and fluff pieces they get in that magazine, said ridiculous things about him like that he was using the Kardashian name to get into NYC clubs. (I love that one in particular. We all know how hard it is for people who make $8 million a year and play for an NBA team to get into NYC clubs.) He was frequently a bit of a D-bag on the show, sure. But in an alternative reality world of the Kardashians, wouldn’t you be mean and snarky too? He and Reggie Bush are the only athletes to get out of that family with any semblance of their sanity left.

(For the record-I’ve never watched the show or looked at an Us Weekly; its New York Times and PBS 24-7 when we aren’t watching ESPN, ESPN2, ESPN3, ESPNnews.)


It’s Really Over this Time



Like any other good stalker, I don’t take ‘no’ for an answer when it comes to the possible end of my relationships. So when Paul, Jesus, and KG said that while it wasn’t me, things weren’t working anymore and they had to ‘move on,’ I said, OK. Because I knew they weren’t really going anywhere. They’d enjoy their delusions for a year or two before realizing how great things are over here at homer, and they’d come running back. They’d realize quickly that the big city lights of Miami and Brooklyn would quickly fade and they’d return to something real.

But now it’s really over. The Truth is going to the Wizards. There are no championships to be won in DC, no KG to play with, no Doc Rivers to join. And I have to accept that even the unexciting Wizards are better than coming home. The Big 3 are really no more. I might even have to deal with my drinking problem, let alone Jeff Green not getting traded back to OKC for Perk.

Its also time to accept that the Celtics are not just in temporary reloading mode. They are going to suck again. Kevin Love is not coming to join Rondo, Carmelo, and the Truth. Its going to be a team of Rondo, Cody Zeller’s brother, El Hombre who is definitely not Indestructible, and 9 guys who aren’t guards because they can’t shoot and aren’t forwards because they can’t rebound.

If we can’t get the Three Amigos back, how about Delonte West?

Things Learned Today



Tyler Zeller is not Cody Zeller. I was upset to hear the Celtics had traded for Cody Zeller. Now, I realize, they got his lesser known brother.

Marcus Thornton once averaged 21 points a game in an NBA season. It was only in 27 games, but then he averaged close to 19 points a game the following year, playing more than half the season. It made me wonder: is 20 the new 8 in the NBA? But I looked at this season’s list of players averaging 20 points plus a game–its a good group. Not a Marcus Thornton (himself included) in the bunch. (For whatever reason, the number of players averaging 20 points a game more than doubled this year from last. Someone needs to figure out why.)

I will reserve judgment for now with the hopes that Danny Ainge is up to something big involving Kevin Love. Or that the Celtics are the secret third team in the LeBron James sweepstakes, and not just the team that takes Tyler Zeller to open cap-space for Cleveland to sign him.

I do like this line from Gary Washburn at the Boston Globe about the possible Celtics interest in Lance Stephenson: “He would make a major impact in the Celtics’ backcourt; just imagine a Stephenson-Rajon Rondo combination, which perhaps would be one of the more irritating in NBA history.”

Another things learned (actually a few days back, while watching Brazilians sing the second verse of their national anthem after the official music allowed by FIFA stopped): the U.S. national anthem has a second verse…actually it has four verses. I think we should pull out the third verse next time we play England in the World Cup.

And with the Men in Blazers apparently headed home from the World Cup after such a great run that put them so much on the map, I’ll honor them with my favorite quote from their podcasts, this in reference to showing Mexico’s coach Miguel Herrera celebrating after a goal: Herrera, in that celebratory moment, has experienced “more happiness than any Englishman has felt in his entire generation.”

File Under Articles That Don’t Make Sense


I’m very into defining categories and genres of music, so this article, entitled “Why Classic Rock Isn’t What it Used to Be?” by Walt Hickey at FiveThirtyEight piqued my interest immediately. Unfortunately, the headline and the author’s conclusion don’t fit the data he compiled. He says that classic rock is changing, expanding to the 90s bands like Green Day and Pearl Jam. Which is frightening to those of us who remember those bands being played on the “modern rock” stations in the 1990s. Modern rock can never become classic, right? That would mean that time is passing, and there’s lots of data out there that shows this to be patently false.

So, despite the good setup, the problem is that the data Hickey provides show that classic rock is not changing. The overwhelming amount of music on classic rock stations is from the 1970s with an occasional song from Rush and ZZ Top. Yeah, out on the west coast they play a bit more Pearl Jam and Nirvana on these stations. So what? I bet they played these bands on those stations in the ’90s. I base this not on data but memory; classic rock stations played Pearl Jam, Nirvana, Sound Garden, Alice in Chains, and Metallica pretty much right away. Why? Because their sound was influenced by and sounded like classic rock (listen to Merkinball). Just like bands in the 2000s started mimicking ’80s bands, and so many bands today embrace Dave Matthews (snark alert).

A more interesting article would focus on those bands played on stations where they shouldn’t belong. Why, for instance, are the Beastie Boys played on modern rock but not Outkast or Kanye, or at least the Jay Z/Linkin Park combos. Who plays the Hold Steady? Why aren’t they dominating classic rock charts? The Black Keys? Queens of the Stone Age? TV on the Radio? Broken Bells? We need a modern classic rock station.

In the meantime, I will worry that time is actually passing when classic rock stations are playing the bands that really defined the moment of ‘modern rock,’ like The Smiths and New Order.



photo credit: Stu Rapley